Italians celebrate 21 point defeat

The Peoples Republic of Canterbury played host to the much improved Italians on Saturday night and the disappointing crowd was rewarded with a disappointing match.

Whilst the MMABs were always going to win, anyone tuning in after the final whistle may well be forgiven for thinking that we had lost. English born, ex South African, Stade Francais and Italian coach Nick Mallett man-hugged his coaching staff whilst Lord Sir Graham Henry punched the coaches box table in disgust (fortunately for Henry, Cantabrian tables do not fight back in the way Wellington tables do).

Luke McAllister went a long way to prove his argument that he is a number 12 by completely muffing the first 20 minutes at 10 before finally achieving averageness ™ toward the end of the game.  Regular readers will be aware that an average performance will have cemented his spot at first-five as Stephen Donald is the next best available player in the position and his aim is to move up the skill rankings from his current position of embarrassing to just pathetic.

In the three other big matches on the weekend the Dirty, Filthy, Cheating (DFC) ‘Straaaaaalyns were unimpressive against DFC France and the DFC Sprrrngbukkks needed a last second penalty to defeat DFC British and Irish Lions in one of the games of the round.  The Lions were flattered a little in the final result as the Bukkkks played the first ten minutes with 14 men as Schalk Berger spent time in the naughty boys’ seat for eye gouging.  McDonalds S.A. used the binning to announce their new menu item – the Schalk Burger containing eye fillet steak.  This was one of the most physical tests that yours truly has seen in few years with several clashes that “could have killed” Brian O’Driscoll.

In the match everyone was looking forward to ‘Rewa Hard Pressies absolutely smashed Waiuku three tries to two despite the referee disallowing a sensational try to Fat Mike that would have sealed the game much earlier.

- Mike Catty