What an awful weekend for an Auckland supporter!
Most of us are just getting the feel for work again after a Christmas holiday at the beach, the Mighty Mighty Black Caps are destroying Bangladesh on hard, fast wickets and The West Indies are over there in Australia getting their rear ends handed to them on a plate. It is early February, the temperatures are hitting the thirties and we all know what that means don’t we folks – It must be footie season.
Two weeks before the Baggy Greens set foot in Godzone for the highlight of the cricketing summer, the Super 14 has kicked off and what a weird weekend we have seen.
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Yours truly was distraught by the news that the Mighty Mighty Blues had signed up Stephen Brett from Dirty Filthy Cheating Canterbury. Those of you familiar with this column will no doubt have been convinced by my previous musings that (with the obvious exception of J.T. and Sir Carlos) Taniela Moa and Ash Moeke are the greatest nine / ten combination in the entire rugby universe. Clearly the powers that be in Auckland Rugby are not regular readers and couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery and felt that Stephen Brett was the answer to Auckland Rugby’s non-existent halfback / first five combination. The nicest possible thing I can say about Stephen Brett is that he is just – and only just – the best number ten with two first names playing Super 14 rugby for an upper North Island based team. Sorry Stephen Donald – you’re still number two on this list.
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Despite my misgivings I sat hopefully on the couch on Friday night, prepared to forget and forgive if Brett could show that he has truly seen the light. One day, I thought, he will denounce his citizenship of the Peoples Republic of Canterbury and move to Auckland to live with us – in the first world.
I’m not afraid to admit it –as Stephen Brett dived over the line for the first Super 14 try of the season and the Mighty Mighty Blues hit the lead – I really believed he had turned the corner and was beginning to think and act like a civilised Aucklander. Alas, within moments he had not only forgotten that he was a Cantab, but it also appeared he’d forgotten he was an Aucklander and seemed to be of the belief he was playing for Wellington. Charged chip kicks, hospital passes, fumbled balls and an intercept pass flowed easily from Brett’s incapable hands and feet and, unfortunately for MMA, Wellington really had to do nothing more than wait for him to cock up and capitalise. 9 penalties against the MMAs didn’t help much either and the thousands of fans that were turned away at the gate of NOWETO Stadium can thank their lucky stars they didn’t have to sit through that rubbish.
The New Zealand Herald’s match review entitled “Brett falters on Blues debut” is an early contender for the coveted Captain Oates award for journalistic understatement at the yearend media awards.
The weekend didn’t improve a heck of a lot when D.F.C. Canterbury ran all over a High-landers team that was on the back foot most of the night. Dan Carter missed a few early shots on goal but unfortunately the D.F.C. Cantabs did what they always seem to do and won, despite having the world’s slowest man Andy Ellis at halfback.
The weekend didn’t get much better for yours truly. Lord Sir Carlos was subbed off in his debut game for the Lions and the State of Origin was amongst the more boring matches in recent memory. The only real highlight for us Kiwis was the last second dramatic win by the Chiefs over the Shorks, played in proper rugby weather – under three feet of water in Durban.
So there you have it – my first column back and it’s mainly negative stuff to start with. But don’t worry readers, things can only get better – and I suspect they will...
... probably some time around rugby season.